Posts Tagged ‘trust’


What an amazing night session! I can’t believe all that I’ve experienced so far. Next up was time with our community groups to download and process the day. I know God was speaking to me in many ways and I needed to talk and journal about it.


Community Groups


“Isn’t it interesting [that] secular science is addressing the question, ‘Does man have a soul? Is there such a thing as immaterial reality?’ And it’s couched in the category of ‘is there life after death?

I mean look, you guys know I ride a motorcycle don’t you? So, at any moment, especially with the idiot people who cross the diamond lane into my lane, alright, without any blinkers, not that I’m angry about it, but at any minute I could be spread out all over the 210 (Freeway), but that’s not me, that’s my body parts. That key distinction undergirds the entire Judeo-Christian worldview and also your pursuit of reality.”

Francis Chan shared this audio clip tonight from radio KKLA host Frank Pastore. He had been a guest on his show. Three hours after saying this over the air, Frank would be involved in a motorcycle accident that would lead to his death. Our first question in community groups tonight is what we thought of this audio clip. For me, it was a reminder that death is real and that we could go at anytime. We need to live our lives knowing that we can go at anytime.

The next two questions focused on ‘trust’ and how our lack of trust in people can spill into our relationship with God and why should we trust in God’s promises. I’ve always tried to live my life as an open book because it’s my testimony. But at the same time, my trust in people has diminished over the years. Lately I have developed deeper relationships with some of my friends despite my guarded heart. I need to continue to maintain my trust in God as these friendships continue to grow. This is evident in scripture as God has always been faithful and trusting to us despite our shortcomings.

What did I take away from this day? I really appreciated hearing Greg Haugen. I also love that Passion doesn’t just shove stats down our throats and then to do something about slavery. We have heard these past two days of how faithful and trusting God is and that we can’t effectively do justice without grounding ourselves in who He is first. Learning about who God is allows us to to learn who we are and what we are created to do.

After our discussion, Gregg Matte had several people stand up if they had received Christ today. All of us leaders cheered and celebrated with our new brothers and sisters of the Kingdom.

Our focus verse for the evening:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

Lamentations 3:22-24

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Francis Chan


Before Francis Chan came on, they showed us a powerful video of a girl from the Philippines who was sex trafficked at a very young age and then rescued by Love 146. It was very graphic but very real. But despite the what she went through, it was a message of hope. It was the hope of our redeeming Savior and how He came to rescue us. That girl is doing very well now. And you know what the cool thing was, she was here at Passion with us! It was so awesome to see her smiling face among all of us. What an amazing God story!

Here are my notes from Francis Chan’s talk:

God rescued us and puts that same Spirit and desire in us to rescue others

If you want to experience God, go make disciples. Francis and his team are now in San Francisco going door to door telling people about Jesus. We need to let go of our fears and go on the mission He has us on. He gives us the power we need to do so.

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations

Deuteronomy 7:9

God’s promises can be trusted. We can trust the Word of God. What we have a tendency to do is let our lack of trust for people spill into our relationship with God. We like to prepare ourselves for the worse and keep our hearts guarded. We see in 2 Timothy 2:11-13 that Timothy is experiencing fear because his mentor (Paul) is about to die. But Paul writes to him and tells him not to be fearful. Paul isn’t afraid of death because he knows of the joy of living with Christ. Even when we are fearful, God will remain faithful. He can’t deny who He is.

We will always have pressure to the end (Rev 2:10). But if we endure, we will reign with Him (Hebrews 3:14). God fights for us so we don’t have to endure this life on our own (Jeremiah 32:40). But at the same time, if we deny Him, He will deny us (Matthew 10:32-33). We like to trust in the promises of God’s blessings, but not in His promises of His wrath and consequences because of our disobedience (Deuteronomy 7:10). An example of this is Pharoah of Egypt in which God promises His wrath of plagues if he didn’t let His people go.

In Hosea, we see how God asks him to marry a whore as a demonstration to Israel how unfaithful they have been to Him. Hosea ends up buying his wife back even though she leaves him. God wants us back despite our unfaithfulness to Him. He wants to cleanse us from our unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Be like a child and get excited – we can trust His promises! (Revelations 21:1-5)

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We had church this morning. I can’t believe we have been here a week already. Morning service started off with some songs in Kenyan. Then our own Pastor Linn Winters spoke. He spoke on the size of our faith and what determines that. He used the story of Gideon from Judges 6 as an example. It is not how big your faith is that matters, it is what you put your faith in. Gideon was scared to lead Israel into Midian. But he was able to lead them into victory because he had faith and put his trust in God. To illustrate faith, Pastor Linn had one of the kids walk a beam. The first beam cracked as he walked across. But the the kid that walked the second beam blindfolded made it all the way across because he put his faith in the stronger board.

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I had a really good week this week. I feel very focused. I also feel really relaxed. I’m really grateful for the people and the things that God has brought into my life. As I continue to pray about his will in my life, he continues to use me in ways I can’t explain. The only way I can explain it to say that it was all God. He can use anyone.
I’ve been studying two things the past couple of weeks. I’ve been trying to better my understanding of the Holy Spirit and how he works and I’ve also been studying the concept of church and community. The Holy Spirit had always been a bit of a mystery to me. I’ve didn’t understand his role in the Godhead for some time. Yet I know the Spirit is in me. He guides me in my walk everyday. But at the same time I still forget to call upon the Spirit. I will be put in a position to be used by God and I wonder if I can do it. The thing is, I can’t. But God can. The Spirit gives us the power to do God’s will. Why is that so hard to remember?
I get convicted by the Spirit almost weekly. I don’t think we can call upon the Spirit without repentance. It’s the only way I can look at what has happened to me these past couple of years. I just try to be obedient and follow his will and the Spirit gives me the power to go about it.
You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.   Romans 8:9-11(NIV)

As I try and discover God’s will in my life, I do at times have my frustrations. I know he has called me to ministry. As scary as that sounds, I can’t say no to that. He has done too much and revealed to much for me to say no. I am also trusting that to him to decide what that is. At this point, I’m not sure what his will in my life is. I know my spiritual gifts and I see where he is leading me. But I gave up trying to pinpoint and define it. I want him to lead me there. I want to have the faith to believe he knows what he is doing. I had a lead pastor come up to me last night and ask me what my ministry was. I kinda laughed at this. I told him I don’t really have one. That I’m just learning the ropes and trying to find God’s will in my life. I’m not sure why he asked me or who he thought I was.
The thing is that I’m a late bloomer in this calling to ministry at my age. I just surrendered my life almost three years ago. I have no seminary or theological background. I read my Bible, listen to sermons and ask a lot of questions on a daily basis. I hang out at church 5 times a week. This is my way of learning ministry. Yet, what I really want is a mentor to help guide me and push me about the in’s and out’s of ministry. I want to know where to start my first steps. Is it schooling, interning, on the job training? I’m not sure..
I once had a guy offer to mentor me without me asking or getting to know me. I truly believe a person seeks a mentor, not vise versa. So I declined his offer. Ron Merrell has been the closest thing I had to a mentor. Now he just left. So I am now taking what I learned from him and applying it. But I feel I need a little direction. I feel I need someone to help me with those first steps of really learning ministry. I meet with a pastor from another church and a missionary on the side every few weeks for some spiritual advice, but it’s not enough. The frustrating thing that I’ve seen lately is that some people with a seminary background aren’t willing to help raise up new leaders. They’ll brag to me about their ‘church background’ and knowledge, but won’t apply it to others. I feel like it’s a members only club. I’m tired of seeing this. Is this really what God wanted for the church? I feel that if someone comes to you and sincerely wants to learn from you, you should feel honored to do that for them. That’s just how I feel.
Yet I know God will raise someone up. I do have an amazing opportunity that was presented to me to counsel 5th/6th graders. I’m still praying about that decision. I would have to step away from my divorce group. Yet I want that experience. I know it would be good for me. So I’m seeing some things going on as I write this. I just need to make sure that I don’t get overloaded like I did last year. So far, I’m doing well with balancing my life.
Well, I just had a lot on my mind. Life is good, God is good. I’m grateful to him for what he has done. I’m grateful for my life. I just need to continue to trust him. I’ve seen him use too many people in amazing ways to not trust him.

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