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Posts Tagged ‘husband’

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Mark Driscoll, John Piper, Tim Keller, Matt Chandler… I love listening to these guys preach because they speak truth directly from scripture. They don’t sugarcoat anything, especially when it comes to marriage. I wish I could post everything I learned from this conference about what Mark Driscoll preached about marriage at Mission Community Church. He has an amazing marriage with his wife Grace to back it up because they followed the biblical model of marriage and stuck it through the tough times. He was pretty straight up about this – you need Jesus first and foremost. If you don’t know Jesus, your marriage is doomed. You will adopt a secular view of marriage and make it about yourself and give up during the tough times. Mark was to the point about this and several people ended up coming forward to receive Christ because they truly believed they need him to save their marriages. It was an awesome and powerful moment. After the wedding day, marriage becomes a war. Satan loves to prey upon marriage and if you don’t know Jesus, you will find yourself without hope. Your spouse is not your enemy, Satan is. So no matter what, be there for your spouse, pray for him/her and don’t give up. The most important day of your marriage should be the last day, not the first. These were some of the hard-core stuff Mark preached that hit me to the core.

I could touch on a lot of things that were meaningful and that will help me grow and husband – being best friends with your spouse, daily repentance to each other of your sins (Ephesians 4:25-30 model), forgiveness, selfishness, etc. But the one topic that I take to heart and what I have been working on the most is being a humble servant to my wife (Philippians 2:3-8). As hard as I try, I fail this many times over. This comes from how I view my spouse and my idolatry and tendency to control because of my past. I sometimes see my spouse’s issues as too hard to deal with and I start to not see her as God’s child. Then I try to rescue and control her because of the difficulties – a redemption role which belongs to Christ and not me. This leads to frustration and eventually anger because I don’t see results. So what God has been convicting me of is that I need to serve my wife humbly despite any issues she might have and the hardships we endure. I know God has entrusted me with his daughter and for that I feel honored – especially how fragile she is. My committment I have made and what I have promised myself to live up to is to consider her better than me, to encourage her in her walk and help guide her (not control her), to correct her lovingly and humbly when needed and to love her with all my heart all the days of my life. I want my wife to feel safe with me and to trust me more than anyone (but Jesus) and to always know how much I cherish her. I’m totally up for all the work that needs to go into making this happen – I love her that much. And this is something else I’ve had to ask myself – do I allow myself to be served by my wife? I’m not sure if I do or don’t. But when I read about the life of Jesus, he came to serve humbly and he also let others serve him. So I will continue to pray and allow God to continue to work in me and in my role as a husband. I will never give up the fight against Satan for my marriage or for my wife’s soul.

On my mirror in my bathroom I hung a piece a paper a couple of months back as a reminder that reads – How can I SERVE my wife DAILY?

This also really encouraged me – a couple gave their testimony on stage at the end. After 15 years of marriage, he had a heavy porn addiction. After years of loneliness, she developed an emotional affair with a co-worker. Divorce was around the corner for them.  He discovered her phone days before she was to meet her co-worker in Vegas for a weekend. Their secrets were out in the open and they confessed them to each other. They got help and one year later, they renewed their vows and avoided divorce. And now they both say that they have never been happier in their marriage ever after 15 years. And it was all because they knew they needed Jesus and that they fought for their marriage, stop listening to other people and got help. That was their message to the crowd – don’t give up! Man – I cried like a baby seeing the power of Christ work in this couple. It was an amazing two days and I am thankful for God providing this time for me to grow in my own walk as a husband.

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February 17-18   Mission Community Church

New Marriage, Same Spouse link

I think this will be good and I am prepared to step up to the challenge of what the Bible says is truth and what I am supposed to do as a man and spiritual leader of my home.

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Tonight I watched the movie “Courageous“. Sometimes these faith-based films can be a little cheesy, but they carry a powerful message. “Fireproof” and “Soul Surfer” were great movies too. I have had several men tell me I should see this movie. It’s about four law enforcement officers going through some tough trials in their family. They end up putting their faith in God and he works through all them despite their shortcomings. It really hit me hard as a man because I carry the responsibility to be the leader of my family. I have failed in so many ways over the years in this. I’m thankful to God that he continues to stick with me and work in me to grow stronger in this area.

I have been praying a lot lately to be a better example to my family. I pray every morning for an opportunity to be a better man and husband to my wife. But for now, I can be an example to my kids. Both of my kids have really got involved with their discipleship groups. I am blessed that they both have good Godly men leading their groups. Cornerstone is doing this church-wide study of Experiencing God. I started this study awhile back and never finished it. A small group contacted me and asked me to join them in their study and I have decided to do so knowing my kids will be doing the study in their own group. I have been praying for an opportunity to step up and lead my own kids in devotions. So we are going to spend each week discussing what we are learning in our groups together. I loved sitting down with Ty tonight and helping him look up verses in his Bible for his homework. I have spent so much time trying to find the courage to be a Godly example to my kids and now he had blessed me with that. God is working in my family – He is so amazing!

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