Posts Tagged ‘hurt’

I spent my whole night with God tonight in front of this candle. I’m at a place in my life where God and I just talk all the time. I had a very interesting week this week. I shared my story with someone I deeply care about Saturday night and it got me processing a lot about where I am at in my walk. God’s really pulling me out into the community to share the gospel and my testimony to others. The brokenness of this jacked up world is really weighing on my heart. I really care and love people  and I find myself hurting for them. It kills me to see people make the choice of turning from God when Satan throws his punches our way.

Church for me exists in the world. Sundays are great for fellowship and teaching, but I’m growing in my walk meeting with people out in the surrounding community. Tonight I spent hours in the smoky atmosphere of Coffee Rush with a brother that just went through divorce. It’s a shitty thing for anyone to have to ever go through and I feel for this guy cuz he has little kids. But what an encouraging night that came from hanging out with him. God used me to impact his life in our short time together and he in turn was a blessing to me. I knew of him when he was married and was always encouraged when I saw his family. But then last summer I saw him at a small group alone with a look in his face that was all too familiar. I knew right then and there his marriage was over and I felt for him. But hearing him speak of his desire to cling to Christ through this tough time made me knew that God was going to take care of him. Tonight we had the opportunity to meet for the first time.

What an amazing turnaround God has done in his life! God is really working in this guy. I’m not saying that life is easy for him – he’s lonely, he’s struggling with lust and finances. Yet he has peace because he knows God is going to pull him through this. That’s God!!!! He doesn’t let go. We can have peace and hope because he is our anchor when life sucks. He is ever faithful and true and we can cling to hope when disaster comes. I love this verse from Hebrews..

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.  – Hebrews 6:19

I’ve gone through more pain and trials since coming to Christ than when I lived life without him. Coming to Christ doesn’t guarantee things will get easy. But when we surrender our lives to him, He gives us the Holy Spirit to guide us and we can have peace in that. He is the anchor to our souls and we can navigate through the crap when we cling to the cross. I have experienced the type of trials that can destroy a man. But at the same time I can honestly say that I am where I am today because of Jesus Christ. His grace and love for me are the only things that got me where I am today. I don’t fear man or this world because God continues to show me that he will bring me through whatever I go through and give me exactly what I need. What an amazing God we have!

Tonight I saw my new friend and the power of what God can do when we turn to Him. This guy turned to the cross of Christ – the place where God loves us and where Jesus shows us that he understands what we are going through. And now his testimony will be used to change the lives of others who are experiencing trouble. This guy prayed for me and told me how much meeting me impacted his life in a short few hours. I laugh because I feel the same way about him. He was a light to me tonight and a reminder of who God is when life beats us down. I love how the body of Christ is used to encourage each other.

Tonight I realized where God wants me after spending some time with Him. I know a big part of that is being out in the secular world and serving these men that are struggling and going through painful situations. I get pain and I don’t fear it. Jesus is my rock and I’m secure in that and pain has always brought me closer to him. People call me modern-day Job or whatever, but they also know that Christ is my foundation and the trials of life just make me cling to Christ. I want to share that and proclaim that to others. God may allow freedom in this world, but He doesn’t lose control. He knows what we go through and he offers himself as a source of hope to overcome it.

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I think this video is so powerful. Johnny Cash filmed it on his deathbed. Trent Reznor wrote the lyrics and they really capture something as believers we get caught up in – our stuff. I’m not just talking about material things, but our accomplishments, popularity, needs, wants, etc. We spend all our time and energy living for things that will eventually fade away. In Biblical times, Ephesus was this amazing city that was supposed to stand the test of time and now it lays in ruins. Johnny Cash also sees this in his own career and his fame. The lyrics say it all – you can have it all, this empire of dirt – because in the end, it all turns to shit and you will hurt. 

Jesus spoke about the Beatitudes very early in his ministry. We always hear about the ten commandments, yet we never hear much about the Beatitudes. Why is that? Probably because they are the blessings no one wants.

Blessed are.. the poor in spirit.. those who mourn.. the meek.. those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.. the merciful.. the pure in heart.. the peacemakers.. those who are persecuted..   Matthew 5:3-10

What kind of blessings are these?  Think about it – we always say we are blessed when we are happy, or make money, or healthy, etc. I will admit I find myself saying this all the time. Yet Jesus preaches the opposite. Blessed those who are persecuted? Who finds this a blessing?

Do not conform  any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Romans 12:2

Jesus is saying we are closer to the Kingdom of heaven when we are closer to our weakness. True humility comes from our weaknesses, not our accomplishments. Romans is saying to live a life radically different from the world. We can only see this radical change from the inside out, not the outside in. Behavior modification is only temporary because eventually what is inside our hearts will reach the surface – the things we truly want and desire. The more out of touch we are with our own personal poverty, the more judgemental we become. We want and we blame when we don’t get our way. So our choice is to own our sins and not deny them. We need to see the blessings of having a pure heart and a renewed mind that comes from our weaknesses.

“Spiritually prosperous are the destitute and helpless in the realm of the spirit, because theirs is the kingdom of heaven”

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