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Posts Tagged ‘Fatherhood’

Tonight I had to have that tough talk with my son about death. As a father you always look for opportunities to connect with your child about real life situations. But death is a hard one because you don’t know what goes on in a child’s head when it happens. I know the experience will be beneficial in the long run, but it’s still never fun.

A family from my former church was in a car accident and their 13-year-old was killed on Monday. He was a friend of my son’s and in his discipleship group. The church called me to let me know that night. Tonight his group leader took all the kids out to talk about it and to celebrate his life. I was in student ministries for many years and have led boys in this age group and it is not easy to try to chat with them about this subject. I know for me I try to do less talking and let them ask as many questions as they want.

When I told my son, he sat in silence for a bit. I asked him how he was doing and he said ok. I’ve grown really close to both my kids over the past couple years because of family tragedies. So I’m very thankful to the Lord for these moments to bond. My kids are growing up and will soon be on their own. I didn’t have a father who was there for me during the tough trials of life (I do now..), so it’s important for me to make sure I’m there for them. I pray for this family and I feel for their loss. Being a parent is a wonderful thing and I am so blessed that God gave me two great boys to raise. But this tragedy has made me realize I could lose anyone one of mine at anytime. So I’m going to cherish this moment I had with him to connect over this.

Please pray for the Galaska family who lost their youngest child in that accident. Their oldest child needs your prayers! Visit their CaringBridge page. Blessings!

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Josh Riebock

Life is a field. You aren’t alone.

I won’t forget tonight. Not only was it Election night, it was PhoenixONE and they had a special treat for us. Josh Riebock is a writer. He wrote a book called Heroes and Monsters and I had the chance to read it over the summer. The book tore me up. It’s a story about Josh’s relationship with his dad who was his hero. Despite the fact that his dad was his hero, he had a dark side to him. His dad was an alcoholic and Josh writes a book on how he couldn’t comprehend knowing who this guy was when he started drinking. His dad was his hero and yet he was a monster to him. It’s a great book on how the events of our lives and how they shape us. It’s about how we can be loving people and then switch and be the ugliest people in the world. It’s about the struggle inside us and how we can find hope in Christ through our trials and pain.

Josh talked about how God wants to take us to the depths of pain so we can learn and heal from it. We like to hide and stuff our junk and God wants to release us from it. He wants to give us freedom from the things we are scared of. I’m so thankful Josh came tonight and thankful to my former Pastor Ron for recommending his book to me. I had been corresponding with Josh before he came and he gave me a big hug when I introduced myself to him afterwards. I loved that I felt like an buddy of his and how welcoming he was. I’m a huge fan of transparent real guys and Josh’s story has been a blessing to me as I have experienced the same father pains as he has.

Andy Cherry led worship and I was able to bring a bunch of my friends with me. We were all impacted by Josh’s talk. But most of all, tonight was special because I got to bring my son. And for him him to hear a talk about father/son relationship while sitting with me was special. He got to hang out with me and my friends afterwards and I even let him stay up a little late even though he had school the next day. I am so thankful to the Lord for this special night for getting a chance to meet Josh and hang out with my son.

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With my bros and my son

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I took my youngest son to Jr High orientation tonight and I realized that I have 6 more years till he is 18. The clock is dwindling down to when I will be an empty nester (even though I know my kids will probably live with me well into their 20’s – haha. Then I charge rent!). This didn’t make me sad, but it made me think how amazing God is and how powerful prayer is. The past 2 years have been such a difficult time for both my kids and I have praying that God would provide the help I need with my trials as a single dad. I have been listening to this podcast by Louie Giglio called “Unusual” and how God works in unusual ways. When he says unusual, he means out of the ordinary. He says that our lives should be about revelation and not information. Paul spent his whole life studying the Word of God, but it wasn’t till Christ’s revelation to him that his life was radically changed. Louie says we need to go through our trials even though they may be unusual (not the way we envisioned them) and not side-step them because it is through trusting God that his glory gets revealed and true growth and change happen in our lives.

I had dinner with my oldest son tonight. We had a fun night of talking about our Experiencing God study, girls, sports and his future. He has been doing so well. I love walking by his room and seeing him with his school books out and studying. He has really been working hard at school now that he has ditched the video games. He told me tonight he now wants to look into photography. I guess I am either rubbing off on him or he knows that all the girls take photo class. I know I’m one of few guys in my class at Chandler-Gilbert. But overall, I’m just enjoying the blessing of having peace in my home and seeing so much growth in all of us. The Experiencing God study has been huge in all this and I have been living my life day-by-day for Christ. I broke down and prayed that difficult night in the summer of ’10 for God to provide help for me as a single dad because my back was against the wall and things felt hopeless.  Now I am seeing that prayer being answered and I’m trusting God’s unusual ways of doing things for his glory.

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