Living a life that Matters

Our church started a series on communication between men and females. Its more geared toward married couples, but still informative for those that are not. My lifegroup is also doing a similar series. We have had some very good conversations arise out of that group. Except our conversation is more based ..experience because we are all divorced. There are many ’if I had known’ and ’maybe next time’ comments.

As Pastor Linn spoke on stage and described the differences of how men and women communicate and listen to each other, it was like deja vu to me. I started to think of some of the fights and miscommunications within my own marriage. I honestly don’t think much of my marriage or my ex-wife anymore. Its pretty much in my past. So spending time thinking about those events kinda freaked me out. We were never good at arguing. We weren’t that nice to each other when we did. Those are situations I don’t ever want to be a part of again.

But the thing that scared me the most was the question.. can I do marriage again? Do I want to do marriage again? I have learned so much about myself and just relationships in general after going through divorce. I know what I can bring to a relationship. But it’s not always that easy or simple. It takes two people to be on the same page. Communication is huge. How we talk to each other is important.  I don’t really date and I love single life. I’ve only had feelings for one person since my divorce. So I really haven’t had the opportunity to experience or apply what I have learned.

Yet… I want so bad for things to be different next time…

I had dinner with three other divorced guys after the sermon. We spent a couple of hours discussing women and how they operate. But most importantly we spent time discussing how we can be better husbands next time. It was such an amazing conversation with fellow brothers in Christ. I’m glad I have guys like this in my life for me to lean on and learn from.

I’m a person that will give his all to his mate. I will work my butt off for that person. I at times will give tough love when needed, yet I’m pretty caring and compassionate (and a little romantic). But I also know I’m not perfect. I know I have a lot to learn. I know I can be better. I am blessed to have people and resources to help me out on this learning path. But it does take equal effort from both parties.

But most important is God. Without a God-centered relationship, its doomed from the get-go. It’s why my marriage failed. It’s why many marriages are failing. And sadly, it’s why my divorce group is so big. Problems, hard-times and disagreements need to be taken to Christ. Prayer is so vital to marriage and relationships. It needs to occur daily and often. God HAS to be the focus.